Cheryl Rainey: Heytheresweetpeapumpkinsugarbear......

Wow….what a big weekend is was for us here in Musanze….baby Elizabeth’s official baby naming ceremony was Saturday afternoon, and boy oh boy, was it QUITE the cultural experience.

A little background on the Kwita Izina (the Rwandan name for a naming ceremony). It is usually done when the baby is 8 days old, because it not only represents the giving of the name, but the child being allowed out of the house and into the public eye. Russell and I being gone sort of messed up that 8 day thing for Elizabeth (and her family), but they were insistent on waiting until we got back so that we would be able to be present for the ceremony. It’s also tradition for a Rwandan baby to have a first name, a middle name and a last name, just like our babies in the US, and the father is actually the one that picks the middle and last names. AND, as you also know, I was asked, even before she was born, to pick one of her names…you all have had a huge heads-up over anyone here in Rwanda….we have been calling her ‘sweet pea” and “pumpkin” and “sugar bear” to avoid saying her name out loud….if we had waited any longer, she was going to think her name was “heytheresweetpeapumpkinsugarbear”.

SOOOO….here we go….we were told it would start at noon…only at eleven to be told…”oh, no…we not start till one, my mother is not even on the bus in Kigali yet….she too slow”. Well….at least we found out before we left home. At one, we show up to most all there….except Christine’s mom…yep…she was MIA, and I’m pretty sure starting without her was not cool. So, we (Anna Reed included, since it was she that helped so much the night Elizabeth was born by driving to get us, and then to Christine’s to get her and took us all to the hospital) sit there and make niceties with 20 people, most of whom don’t speak a LICK of English. We honed our charade playing skills, yet some more, although we were extremely fortunate to have Christine’s aunt, Anna, there, who spoke perfect English. For the baby naming part of the ceremony, she was gracious enough to translate for us. I’m also fairly certain that the baby naming part of the ceremony is what they traditionally start with, and THEN the eating and drinking portion of the day begins, but since Mama was MIA, we ate first….and a feast it was. It really is amazing how most Rwandan families (Christine included), who have no running water, and cook over a wood fire, are able to prepare such a feast to share with friends and family. They had chairs set up all around the fairly small living room, so it was like having an indoor picnic. We know from Christine cooking for us every day, how well she can cook a traditional Rwandan meal…add her sister, aunt and other family members to help…and let me just tell you…us Southerners ain’t got nothing on the Rwandans….they can flat put on a spread!!! Mama finally made her way to the party half way through our meal, which meant that we were now good to go for the baby naming part of our day!!

Now, the baby naming ceremony is just that….a traditional ceremony in which they place the baby in the middle of the room, with the parents sitting there, and each and every person (including all children) approach the baby and says the name THEY think the child should be named. After everyone in the room has done this, the parents then go off in a room by themselves to powwow over what the baby’s name should be. They pick one of the names presented to them, and then the father will pick the middle and last names. Interesting point here….most Rwandans do not use the same last name within families. The father chooses names he thinks appropriate for the child. So, mother, father, and all children will have different last names…..for you folks who are into genealogy, go on, put a wet rag on your heads so you don’t pass out…this country would be a NIGHTMARE for you!!

Christine had already given us a heads up about the process least we not look like complete fools, so when our turn comes and we both say the name “Elizabeth”….and there were all sorts of beautiful names thrown out there….and after the last person “approached” the baby and parents…mom and dad go to the back room to decide, and after a few, back they come and announce her name is Elizabeth!! Oh…everyone claps and carries on….whew….no more “heytheresweetpeapumpkinsugarbear”!!

Then the speeches begin, made all the more complicated by the fact that Anna, the aunt, had to translate for Russell, Anna and I after every few sentences. There were prayers and congratulations, but frankly, the most touching came as a complete surprise to Russell, Anna and I, because they were thanking US, for taking Christine and the baby in, as our own family…being there to get her to the hospital, being with her at the hospital and generally being parents and grandparents to her and her kids…this coming from the ACTUAL parents and grandparents, and other family members. And then Christine gives a precious speech about how much she appreciates being part of our family and how much she loves us!! OK…Kleenex please!! Those of you who know Russell and I know we HATE being in the limelight…what we do, we generally do under the radar, anonymously if possible, so this type of attention was a titch uncomfortable for us, but it was SOOO coming from their hearts, we just felt honored and blessed to be a part of the day, in such a special way, and to be able to call these people family!! Christine then proceeds to give ME a gift, which you can see from the photo is some traditional Rwandan material (pink OF COURSE) so that I can have made a Rwandan dress….something Russell has been trying to get me to do since we moved here and which Christine overheard us talking about one day! Sly fox, that one!!

It was just SUCH an amazing treat to be part of such a day. In the end, Christine’s husband decided the name Elizabeth was the only name she needed other than a last name….and the last name he chose translates to “queen” in Rwandan and is Kamikazi…..yep…pronounced just like it looks and when she told me that, I seriously laughed out loud, which gave her a puzzled look until I explained what Kamikazi meant to us….fairly appropriate, I would say, to go with the name Elizabeth, which in our family is synonymous with strong-willed and hard headed, but such loving hearts….so we are proud to formally introduce, Elizabeth Kamikazi!! When Russell heard the name, he said “That’s perfect!” with that grin he gets when he’s imagining trouble. I wonder if I’ll be able to talk one of my kids into naming one of our granddaughters (God willing)…Kamikazi….Brit?? Josh??

In all my wildest dreams, I could have NEVER imagined, not only attending, but being such a integral part of, such a ceremony. What a joy and blessing!!

Enjoy the plethora of photos …a picture really is worth a thousand words!!